Miami Vice Review

Miami Vice is based on the 80’s show of the same name. However, rather than doing any amount of justice to the adventures of Tubbs and Crocket, it absolutely fails on every level. It is sold at a reduced price, but that shouldn’t give you any reason at all to pick this garbage up. The game was released on the XBOX, PS2, and PC. They obviously used the lowest common denominator, though that denominator was seemingly the Playstation 1.

The story in the game is sadly the best part. That’s not to say it’s good on any level, it’s an episode from your cookie cutter cop drama. That just shows how bad the rest of the game is. The story follows Tubbs and Crocket as they try to perform a series of drug busts, and stop a number of killings.

The graphics resemble a somewhat anti-aliased Playstation 1 game. The textures are repeated often and are very bland. The character models are decent, but have a pretty low polygon count. The guns that you pick up are rendered in a low polygon count and look unspectacular. Some are even mislabeled, such as the M16 they label as a “sub-machine gun”.

The audio in the game is bland, and the only standout thing is the theme in the main menu, but that’s accompanied by a dizzying scrolling ocean texture, so you try to get out of there as quick as possible. The rest of the game just has a sort of hum instead of any kind of music. The weapon sounds are decent, but very bland and not standout at all. The characters in the game are thankfully not voiced by the original actors, because they surely wouldn’t want to be associated with this steaming pile of crap.

The gameplay is simply the worst part of the game. First of all, even on the PC, there is no option to change the key configuration to your liking. There are two premade configurations, but this is clearly the markings of a lazy PC port. It is even clearer because there is no actual aiming in this game, rather there is a crappy auto-aim system. Why this would be needed on the PC is anyone’s guess. You press the right mouse button, which locks onto a target, and you have to keep that pressed down as you press the left mouse button, so that you can shoot. The worst part of it all is that when you press down the right mouse button and there are no targets nearby, you spin. This adds even more frustration to the already annoying camera, which usually focuses on the back of your character, but will randomly switch to angles that are looking down on him, creating a moment of unnecessary confusion.

The A.I. in the game is stupid, and they tend to walk right up to you as you’re shooting them. They will sometimes take cover behind objects, but only if they were already standing next to one. There is also a simplistic two character mechanic, which lets you switch between Tubbs and Crockett. However, the only difference beside the starting weapon is that Tubbs can kick through some doors, and Crockett can climb. Also, if one of you happens to die, the other can just walk up to you and press the action key to miraculously revive you. This makes the game even sillier, especially combined with the automatic healing.