Achtung! I would have gladly fought along side German troops in the opening sequence if it meant I could spare myself this experience. You play Karl Stolz who gets killed during a Rebel ambush and is then taken by his superiors to be turned into a formidable undead weapon. Now what can be wrong with that?
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Just burn Karl Stolz! Burn! |
Someone spilt strawberry milk again. |
UberPremise? Story lines rarely need to make much sense for games or draw a great deal of plausibility but what really does matter is how the story is told. What deals a fatal blow already though is how poorly you get drawn into this tale. The voice acting is cringe worthy at best, with very little inspiration or even change of tone. You would have thought a guy with a gun to his head would warrant just a little pitch change to his voice but no. Okay so the dialogue lacks passion but it also lacks any reality. After having broken out of what could have been my local NHS clinic, you meet up with some Rebel big wigs. Of course naturally curious they enquire who you are. Calmly your female assailant explains your Karl Stolz a Nazi UberSoldier under her command because she gave your first command since reviving. Not a single eye lid batters, instead they pack you off with a squad heading for your next mission.
Surely with such bad story writing some law of the universe dictates a counter force to address this imbalance? This is when I turned to the power of the Ragdoll physics system; after all it has managed to deliver fantastic games such as the Hitman series, Freedom Fighters and countless others. While the others had their funny moments (which admittedly could spoil a tense atmosphere), seeing an enemy fly into the air and landing awkwardly was great. Something’s off here though, it doesn’t seem to deliver the same quality but makes it seem just rather lame. The levels themselves are detailed very well with the surroundings pulling you in, it’s only a shame everything else makes you scream to wanna get out.
Ah screaming, now we arrive at sounds of UberSoldier. Apart from the depressing voice over lines, the actual sounds of the game are good. Glass smashes, guns fire and doors creek. I could see no issues other than the whooping great open wound of a first impression I just couldn’t forgive.
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We all know giant light spheres grant life, right? |
Sleeping on the job again Herr Stolz! |
AI (meaning Another Issue). Now either people really were quite dense and not up to the standards of military training we have even in the most poor of nations, or a few miscalculations are going on behind the scenes. The enemy and indeed even your own allies’ move about in such an unrealistic manner you think you’re playing a bunch of n00bs. Quite frequently they can take cover, now how is that wrong? Well it wouldn’t be except that they’re facing the wrong way and seem to be inviting the player for a piggy back ride. In fact the whole gameplay factor here is well off the mark of an enjoyable experience.
Bad voice acting, bad story immersion, bad use of Ragdoll physics and bad AI implementation. Nice environment textures though, I cannot find myself disliking their eye for detail. By the time I reached the second level I had already had my fill of the game. To say I was somewhat irritated at the constant deaths I experienced from seemingly impossible to detect grenades would be quite the understatement. This game has nil replayability because frankly should you survive getting through it the first time without aching from dismay, then you deserve the Victoria cross medal my friend.
Should anyone try recommending this to a friend of yours immediately scream aloud “Kein Herr arsch!” Suffice to say the only valuable entertainment I could surmise from this would be to wait till your friend has just walked out of the shop with UberSoldier and receipt in hand. Snatch the receipt, rip it up in front off his/her face and say you did so knowing how much confidence you have they’ll love it. Once the game introduction has started, proceed to laugh yourself stupid – safe in the knowledge you’ve caused them to buy a rather expensive colourful Frisbee.
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Where the 'fun' begins |
What are they auditioning for the Titanic here? |
The developer’s slogan puts it perfectly I feel. This truly is a hard-biting game; it’s also a hard-chewing and especially hard-swallowing one at that.
UBERSOLDIER VERDICT
The developer’s slogan puts it perfectly I feel. This truly is a hard-biting game; it’s also a hard-chewing and especially hard-swallowing one at that.
TOP GAME MOMENT
Uninstalling the game, and then deleting the screenshots I needed to take for this review. I can honestly say there was no top in-game moment here.
